Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Spring Day

I like instrumental music… 

Been searching for this music for YEARS... Since I didn’t know the title of the music, it was harder to find it… but finally I was able to find it. Here it is

Main Title


For unknown reasons, I feel happy whenever I listen to this melody. How should I describe it?  I may say listening to this makes me feel free, as I was walking at the path full with blossoming flowers. The pollens and petals are puffed by the wind of spring and this cool breeze also hit my face as I walk through the path…

Contrary, listening to this melody also reminds me of classically designed building in Europe. I’ve never been in Europe but I feel like walking at the streets of Venice, seeing few musicians performing at the side walk. The gloomy yet mysterical and classical feelings…

Ya ya saya tau saya kuat berangan. But this is how I interpret the music. This is how I appreciate the music.

Main Title (Classical Version)


It is one of music tracks for a Korean drama entitled Bomnal or Spring Day broadcasted in 2005. I really like this tracks.

This drama was lead by Ji Jin Hee (also known for his character of Pembesar Min in Dae Jang Geum aka Jewel in the Palace and Dong YI and Miss Kim’s Milllion Dollar Quest), Jo In Sung (fans of him must also knew him in Memories in Bali together with Ha Ji Won and So Ji Sub) and former Miss Korea Go Hyun Jung.

OST Spring Day



It was a story (or may I say a complicated story) whereby two brothers with different mothers fell in love with the same girl (kinda typical and cliche rite). Both are doctors, following their father’s career. The older brother, Eun Ho (Ji Jin Hee) was an obedient but his younger brother Eun Sub (Jo In Sung) was immature and rebellious. He was hurt emotionally by his mother who wanted him to be like his father even though it was not what he desired. Eun Sub became a doctor despite the phobia towards blood caused by traumatic memory of watching his mother tried to cut herself when he was a kid (ya I also think that the mother was a mad person). But he kinda genius. He worked part timely as a cellist in a bar (or night club I think).  

Meanwhile, Eun Ho who seemed well and tolerant was actually had been hurt a lot TOO. He lost her mother after his father chose to marry Eun Sub’s mother. He followed what his father wanted (to be a doctor) and he treated Eun Sub nicely as an elder brother. But he just waited for the right time (the right age) to leave the house and start finding his mother (keluarga yang bermasalah kan).

He knew along the person who might know where his mother is. After he found the right time to leave, he left to an island where that person (I called him a Grandpa Doctor as he was a Grandpa! haha) lived. During his time in that island, he met again a girl Jung Eun (Ko Hyun Jung) who was lived with that doctor. But he noticed that the girl had changed a lot. She didn’t talk… at all.

Later he found out the reason behind it. She also lost he mother since child. But when she found and met her again, it was her mother who abandoned her first to live a happy life with other people. This caused her a huge shock which lead to her present condition. Since then, she lost the will to speak and never looked happy at all.

Eun Ho was living with Grandpa Doctor and Jung Eun in the Grandpa Doctor’s clinic while waiting for the doctor to changed his mind and telling about Eun Ho’s mother whereabouts (it seemed like the doctor and Eun Ho’s father were acquaintance and the father was preventing that Doctor from telling Eun Ho about his mother). During his staying with them, Eun Ho tried so many things to make Jung Eun talk again.  

And finally he made it. But he didn’t make her talk. Instead, he made her CRY first. Knowing the pain and sorrow the girl concealed in her heart but couldn’t let they go, he made her cry first, which brought us to the scene at the seashore in the middle of this music video. The scene was so touching and made everyone who watched it full with tears. Masa saya tengok pun, sedih sangat2, tak sedar mata dah basah !_!

Eventually, that Grandpa Doctor told Eun Ho about where his mother lives. The Doctor worried that Eun Ho will end up being like Jung Eun. But Eun Ho convinced that his mother was not like that. He was so happy with the thoughts of meeting his mother again and even planned after finding his mother, he would meet his father to give farewell and then living with his mother together with Jung Eun and Grandpa Doctor in that island.

Living temporary with Eun Ho had open Jung Eun heart slowly. And finally during Eun Ho departure, Jung Eun ran to catch him and finally… She talked…  She even shouted to Eun Ho to not to go. Eun Ho was so happy and he promised that he will comeback bringing together his mother. He asked Jung Eun to wait for him.

Finally, Eun Ho made Jung Eun talk again… he made her BE ALIVE  again…

However, after waiting and waiting, Eun Ho didn’t comeback….

Curious about what happened after that? Tgoklah sendiri ye! J


This is such an intense and deep drama. You may feel hoped, frustrated, confused, and touched at the same time. Judiciously judge, it is such a good drama with talented leads. But I PERSONALLY and EMOTIONALLY didn’t like how the story turns out. No no it’s not that it had a tragic or sad ending. (Spoiler alert: don’t read if don’t want to be spoiled) It was just…  saya tak suka bila orang berubah hati…. Huuuuuu… a brother should not fall to his brother’s girl… tapi semua watak dalam cerita nie kasihan. I pity them.


One of the scenes that I found on internet, the scene between Eun Sub and Jung Eun:

“You… are scrapping my heart with metal hands…”

Urgh~ that must be really hurt man~

Yup that’s Jo In Sung. He is well-known for his great and credible acting. I also like it very much. It’s only that I dislike the ending of both of his popular dramas, though I hate the ending of Memories in Bali more more and more (thinking back the drama’s ending makes me angry and geram for no reason… Argh! Why the ending was like that?!! Up to now I still don’t believe that the story ended up like that).

Nevertheless, Jo In Sung had just finished his military service and is now back to entertainment industry. Fans including me can’t wait for his new project. 


Another music tracks

Sub Title


The music and melody, they give the intense and deep feeling rite?!
Ooooh~ I just love the music… when the string instruments being played…

Anyway, I really love the songs and melody played in this drama. Even for many years, I still can remember the melodies, selalu terngiang2, especially the “Main Title” posted above and “Separation” below: 

Separation 1

*jgn dengar kalau tengah down atau sedih* !_!

Credits to the people who uploaded these… thank you so much!

ps: sebenarnya nak cerita pasal muzik di atas tu je tapi dah melalut *~*

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

그 사람을 만났을 때, 그 날


Today, 4th of August is my Keun Suk's birthday... Happy 24th (25th in Korea) Birthday Darling!!! haha..
and exactly two months ago, 4th of June was a dream-like day for me, which was the day that I saw him in front of me for the very first time.

I've wrote about this since long time ago.. it was just.. I didn't post it. So now since today is his birthday.. I've posted it... finally! Haaa (no point actually, rite?!)

Hmmm…
Where shall I start eh?

OK. Early this year I've got news of him coming to Malaysia. Reading the news was enough to make my heart kongdak kongdak..haha

But going through the whole semester made the money (JPA scholarship) lessening.. haha. But I don’t care, I determined to watch the show.

My Energy Charger :)

The official news of his showcase released during study week..   I was so thankful bcoz at that time I had such a great depression and for the second time he saved me.. kindaaa.. huuu
At least during the horrible study and exam week, I can laugh and feel at ease thinking of the day I'm gonna see him..huu..

Remembering of those days, I think I was kinda cool..haha.. see.. others were busy studying and focusing on exam but me sibuk  booking ticket  and bersusah payah g CIMB Bank kat Setia Alam mlm2 to pay the ticket.. huuu~

Alhamdulillah, I went through the examination smoothly (with less crying). But later I went straight to industrial attachment (arghhh).. actually the exhaustion due to the exam masih ade plus penat KERJA latihan industry made me unable to prepare much for the the show (meaning as a fan).

Baju Melayu for him
I had so many plans; wanted to buy a present for him, and wanted to go to the venue since I am not familiar with KL roads. I only had Saturday and Sunday to do such things. And luckily all went smoothly.. thanks to Kak Ina and Kak Aimi for accompanying me.

Day by day passed  but I feel sad as I wasn’t able to feel as much happy as I thought I would be because I was so damn busy preparing for the GMP training plus my health condition at that time: I had those 3 combination: fever cold and cough.. it was so frustrating.. huuuu :((

But I still managed to write a letter  to him.. It took me a whole day to write it. For those who curious on what I wrote.. here it is..

Romanization:
annyeong haseyo Keun Suk sshi~~~
naneun paenieyo. aju oraetdeungan paenieyo!!
Keun Suk- sshi.. ireohke wajusseo.. jeongmal haengbokhaeyo.. manhi gidariyeosseoyo.. kamsahamnida ~~
seonmul padajuseyo.. ige baju melayu- eyo. baju melayu-neun hanbok gateuneyo.. 

size.. gwaenchanayo? saekkari anyaeppeun majji? huuu..
yongseohaejwo.. ige nae cheoeumimnida..
hajiman, ige nae maeumiya.. padajuseyo..
keun suk-sshi e baju melayu bolsu isseumyeon johgesseo..huuu~~~
daeshin, dashi undamyeon, deo areumdaun baju melayu julkoeyo. ^-^
ireohke hangugeo ro sseugi.. nae cheouemiya.. ajikdo kongbuhaeyo.
keun suk-sshi!! keongang haseyo!!
naneun hangsang keun suk-sshi reul johahae.. jeongmal jeongmal jeongmal JOHAHAEYO!!!


Kepada sesiapa yang bole translate saya belanja dia makan kat Seoul Garden + Baskin Robbins :D

Actually my handwriting was soooo teruk! x kiralah tulisan ape pun.. huh

And D-day came.. I started to feel thumping of my heart. haha..  hmm..  I left house kinda late actually.. biaselah terlupa itu terlupa ini.. and I drove Waja this time..

 I followed the roads Kak Aimi taught me. I arrived at KLCC nicely on time, then took taxi to JW Marriott for the fan meeting event. This was only for VVIPs n VIPs.. ooo how I wish I was the VVIP..  
As I entered the hotel.... I was WOOOAAAAA~ amazed by the luxurious hahaha.. really.. ones must be extra super duper rich to accommodate in this hotel..

Finally I redeemed my ticket.. I also got the poster.. And.. just waiting for the event.  But looking around the place made me kinda sad as… I was alone… others came with their friends but me.. 
But it’s fine..  thinking twice I was cool rite? From Puncak Alam to KL, unfamiliar with the roads yet I managed to arrive safely .. nan meohi da kutchi? (I am cool rite?) *gaya miho*

as long as I can see him...
kalau bole nak kecikkan lg gmbar nie..haha

Then all fans berkumpul in a hall.. frankly speaking the hall was small for hundreds of fans, and some fans has complained this at the organizer FB page..huhu..
But I can't think of anything else as I was eager to see him… DUP DAP DUP DAP..
And at last.. he came.. the hall was full with girl screaming including me.. haha

There was a word that crossed my mind as I saw him. CHARMING. Yes he was ( and always gonna be) soooo charming,  handsome, cute, elegant, stylo, cool.. aaaaaaa… can't describe my exact feelings at that time..
While looking at him been interviewed, I talked to myself.. aaa geu namja da..  Finally, I saw him in front of me..   I ‘ve waited for this moment for so long and finally...fuh..

Video yang sempat saya rakam


those eyes, that nose, that smile.. they are the same..
and I heard his laughter.. awww how cute!
Cutest Prince! ^^

And then, the photo taking session, I was VIP so here was the chance and the only chance to be near him. Honestly I didn’t expect much as there were to many people and for sure the management would not allow Keun Suk to be on the stage for too long.. and yes I was correct, the time was to short plus the security was too strict.. And no offense the position on the photo kinda have of race discrimination.. *sigh*  and to think it came from the Malaysian management itself. *more sigh*

But then I can get near to him.. even though just for a few seconds.. I think 20 seconds??  He was sooo close to me.. aaaaa~ I still can remember the face.. but I totally forgot to smell him! LOL.  kalau x for sure I still can remember the smell of his.. hahahaha psycho giler!

serupa x kami berdua? LOL~


And then for VVIPs, the fan signing session.. only 100 fans who lucky to get this.. huhu..*super extra jealous*
But as I saw one by one I noticed that most of them were foreigners, especially from Japan. I was kinda sad and I am sure some of the fans were also feeling the same. This was the first ever Cri Show in Malaysia so the opportunities should be given more to Malaysians (am I rite?)

Spotted among the foreigners were a group of Japanese ladies (not girls ok) wore kimono.. huu.. heard that some of them also followed all Keun Suk’s  Cri Show, from Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia and other places too.. Awesome wasn’t it!  Me too would also like to do that.. but  if only I have enough money and time..  huuu

One by one VVIP went on the stage, got Suk’s signature, and got chance to shake hands with him! ARGHH! thinking this back makes me pissed off.. why it was not me!! Whyyyyyy~~~
And the last person hugged him…. Arghhhhhhhhh *gigit jari*

Later all the fans get ready to take the buses provided to KLCC. While waiting for lift, guess who I met? Keun Suk’s mom n dad! Wow! They were so close to me.. the staff let them take the elevator first.
Sempat jgak took a glimpse at them, mak dia senyum.. adoiiiiii menantu ade kat sini nie~ *lambai2* (perasan!) haha.
Then took the bus.. back to KLCC and just waited for the Cri Show to start… and again .. I sat in the Plenary Hall alone..  but nevermind.. :)

Before the show started, the screen displayed the trailer of his previous CFs, dramas such as Marry Me Mary.. haha funny when everytime Keun Suk's face came out the screen the fans shouted like crazy, me too.. haha :P  ~ooo Keun Suk I love uuuuuuuu!!!!!

Then the show started.. lights were off and fans screaming crazily (again me too). Fans went crazier as he came out on to the stage!!! First he performed his Japanese debut single Let Me Cry.. Sooo handsome!!!!!
Next he sang Oh My Darling.. aaa one of ma favourite! Sweeetttnyeeeee~

What can I recalled was after that was the interview session . Even though there was a interpreter next to him, Keun Suk spoke mostly in English. Hebat x? heee~

During the interview he showed the pictures taken during his travel around the Europe, and every picture displayed was followed with the fans screaming including me! Haha XD

The he continued performing  songs from Marry Me Mary: Take Care of My Bus and Hello, the hall went crazy again. I knew the songs so I sang along too.. hehehe

omo he looked sooo handsome..huuuu.. (I want him pleaseee~~)

Then he appeared in image as Tae Kyung with that little toncet. Hahaha how cute!
Here he picked few lucky tickets. If these people answered the question correctly they will receive gifts from Keun Suk on that stage.. argh why it was not me..(I'm just not lucky enough) :(

Then he sang As Ever/Still, an OST from You're Beautiful. Woaaah one of ma favorite too! :D

 Next was Lounge H segment with the Big Brother Kurt.. He changed to an outfit that to me made him looks soo hot! haha.

Keun Suk wasn’t just an actor or singer, he was a real entertainer! You see for more than 10 mins he sang and danced endlessly..  huuu x nampak penat lgsung! The hall too went upside down as the fans watched him did the electro and techno dances.. he was sooo hot at that time!!!!! XDDDD  *gigit jari*
Are you looking for me? LOL~

Keun Suk aaa how come you can be so cute + handsome + sexy + hot at the same time?! XDD

Then he changed his outfit again..The scene became calm as he sat and talk to the audience. Here he talked in Korean. I can see why he did that as he wanted to speak heartedly to his fans. He said he really thankful to his fans for their endless support. He said that is why he could not rest as fans keep wanting to see him .. and then he sang My Precious (aaaaaaa cairrrrrr~)


For the last performance he sang Promise.. huuuu.. seeing him performing at that time made me miss him already.. huuuu etteohkajyo??? :’((

And the Cri Show ended.. huuuu sedihnyeeeee.. I want to see him more.. 3 hours  x ckup.. x puas..
Ramai yg cam degil xnak balik haha.. thinking that I was alone so it would be better for me to just go home.. but I just missed him so I went to Jln Bkit Bintang.. just to.. pass the hotel..huuu.. ( I miss him!!!)

But the traffic jam there was not a joke.. it was totally !@#$%^&. Although it passed 11 there were still too many cars .. I guessed this is KL…

and heard that he went to Zeuk later after the show... Whoaaah!

I returned home safely around 1 am.. hahaha… giler ah!

That was how my 4 June ended… I miss him! Bogo bogo bogo shipeo!!!!!


Hmm..
Facing this reality (meaning seeing him this close), I truly left my childishness and ke-perasan-nan that I always showed at FB or Twitter. Those were for humors only, actually I am such a sensible person.  ;) I am a Capricorn you know: Serious. Realistic.Very grounded in reality. Ha.  ;)

I came as a fan.. As a person that really like Jang Keun Suk.. Just like thousands of his fans..
I’m just.. ordinary.

 I knew all along how impossible he is.. . but now I'm confirmed about that. Is this some kind of – badly wanting to see just to ease the heart to letting it go?-

As expected, sadly I noticed that there was no more Tae Kyung in him… the Bohemian style of Mu Gyul remained in him.. but that’s fine as I love any style of his.. Though I like Tae Kyung the most XD.

Sometimes script of drama we watched makes sense too. It does happen in reality.  Now I clearly understood how Go Mi Nam feels when she realizes that she likes Hwang Tae Kyung.

Shin woo said “Liking star like Hwang Tae Kyung is neither bad nor special.” 

Mi Nam said “  Hyungnim! Please let me be your fan!”

"Nan faninikka maeum apado gwaenchanku chukhado halsu inneunde.. hyung nim! Cho fani jikyo ju shipsio!!"
:'(

Hyung-nim.. chodu jigeum teulbyeolhan  byeol hana bakke boiji anhseumnida.

Dwaege manhneunde.. eotton byeol hana ga neomu meoshit ge jakku banchap banchap goryosseo,
Jakku geu byeolman pogeseumnida.

Ye. Aju manhi saram dereul johahaejyo byeorinmida. Chodu geu manheun saram jungi kieksseo geu byeol johahaedo chaega dwaege angetjyo?

Ye. Choneun jigeum geu byeol bogo isseumnida.. 

“Johahaedo gwaenchankeseumnikka?”

...

Byeoreun neomu moroguna...
(My star is just too far away…)

 :’((

I think after this whenever I see or hear about him I am gonna be sad. Nope. I already feeling sad.. !_!
*pasang lagu Without A Word*
“maldo eopshi sarangeul alge hago.. maldo eopshi sarangeul naege jugo”
“maldo eopshi sarangi nareul ttona..maldo eopshi sarangi nareul boryo”

Without a Word My Heart is Cursing What Should I Do? Goodbye? 
(no no goodbye! Can’t let it go yet. Ajik)

Happy Birthday 내 사랑!
생일 축하 해요!!!
사랑해...

This song is dedicated to 
Eun Ho @ Chang Hui @ Gun Woo @ Jun Su @ Mu Gyul @ Tae Kyung @ Keun Suk. 

- If It Was (/Were) Me -


Link untuk download

Isk. Sedihlaaa... bawak diri dulu...
*dengar lagu di atas sambil nangis*

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Secret Garden 2


There are things that are thought of as fantasies merely because they are too far away
This is how it is in the world of stars
Just as it is with the people who are too beautiful, they disappear easily

In the books I read in curiosity of his sincerity,
this is a passage that grabbed my heart for a long time

I realized now how beautiful of a person he is,
and therefore how far away he is from me.
He will disappear someday too,
just as people who are too beautiful often do

 -Gil Ra Im- 
Secret Garden Episode 13



Saya sgt suka ayat ni.. selalu duk ulang part ni.. these are the words from Raim's heart about Joo Won.. huuu~ sedih2~
ayat2 dlm Secret Garden byk yg meaningful.. ni bru translation ke English.. kalau faham ayat ni direct dri korean lg rse sgt: waaaaa~  @ kagum sbb mcm sajak
ade lg yg sy suke part susunan buku2 bila tgok tajuk2 dia kat tepi buku bole jadi sajak.. hebat x? itulah drama korea..:)
nti sy post lg ayat2 yg best dri drama ni
70%

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Pain of Separation

Do you know how it feels like, being left by someone we love?
(stop lagu kat mixpod tu, sambil dgr yg ni, I Can't by Mi)



Not being able to eat or drink are just the obvious basics.
Falling asleep and waking up are hell too.
Because you can’t figure out how you and the person you love are to become strangers.
You can't even tell to anyone else, because they may badmouthing.
And so, you cry alone.

"We’re over, we’ve broken up."     
Only the memories of love keep coming into mind.
But the more you try to erase them, the longer the days get.
So for the person who’s been left, 365 days are spent in the process of breaking up.

But what really hurts is, that person doesn’t even seem to be thinking of you.
It feels like you are the only one being like this.    
That person seems to have forgotten all about you and is now happy..

All you want to do is die, but you can't die either.
Because you are afraid that you won't .. ever get to see that person again.


it's like that, the feeling..when you break up
*petikan dri episod 6 Secret Garden dari Seul kpd Oska
Credits: SBS's Secret Garden, episode 6

60%
I miss Mok Mok sooo much! chukthorok bogo shipho... !_! 




Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hmmm.... hahaha~

Hmmm…sy nak tulis sbb sy takut nti sy lupa.. but I don’t think that I'm gonna forget about this.. hahaha~

Hmmm… I dreamt about him again…haha it was just a dream but to me I really hope that one fine day it will come true..hahaha~

Hmmm…
I went to his fan meeting... there were many people, his fans I guess... he was on the stage, he was in front of my eyes.. and he was smiling to me!!!!! the brightest smile I’ve ever seen from him... and it was for me! How can I resist that?! I felt like my joyful n happiness boxes in me have been overloaded~ I cant stop smiling to him~ ^________^

Then what can I remember ... I was near the stage, then I saw Park Shin Hye @ Go Minam.. she was the guest star I think. They talked to each other but I cant get what they said. Suddenly she pointed to me, and he looked at me. My heart was LUP DUP again..haha.. then he asked for my name... " noneun ireumi moya?” I was “ nayo?”. He nodded. “ naneun Hidayah imnida”. Then I was asked to come on to the stage to play some sort of game. He explained it to me but somehow I couldn’t get it (maybe because I was focusing too much looking at him..haha). There were also some other fans joined the game but I was the chief..hahaha.. because of that he came nearer and explained to me again personally..hahaha.. (oh please come closer to me~) hahaha~

Then.. all seemed to disappear n then I realized that I was on my bed... alaaaa… mimpi ke??? sayangnyeeee…huhu…. I tried to sleep again (with intention to continue that dream) but that was soooo not possible.. huuuuu…

Oooo.. I still remembered those smiles….aaaaaa~

Hmmm...
Before that I’ve dream about him too. I can’t really tell what happen before that but what I can recall …
There was a field of grass n trees surrounding the field. I was playing kite, I was running to make the kite fly higher… but the kite fell down because the string broken off.. I felt sad but suddenly he came to me and fixed the broken string by using sole tape …  ( why soletape??? Hahaha.. what eva laaaa).. n then without a word he smiled.. at that moment I felt like my feet were not on the ground... I felt like somehow I was floating n hovering around... my brain cant think of anything... my heart seemed to feel a kind of cool breeze… It was like... aaaaaaaa~ is this the feeling of excitement? happiness? Love? Hahaha~

Hmmm... Senang cerita memg rasa bahagia giler.. haha walaupun mimpi saje…. Gomapseumnida for those nice n  sweet dreams.. pliz come again into my dreams without any hesitation okay? I'll be waiting~ nan gidarilkoya~ No no no.. pliz appear real to me in reality okay? Hahahaha :D

Oooooh~ I really wish that those dreams will come true~~~~

Hmmm… I just watched the latest episode of his drama, marry me mary.. I cant stop feeling jealous to the main actress.. hahaha.. he was so sweet in this episode…. Aigoooo2… here my angau comes again… hahaha

ps: Hmmm... I was supposed to write about the case study but I ended up here writing about him.. that's because I cant stop thinking about him.... hahaha~

My Precious by Jang Keun Suk

Monday, November 22, 2010

Mianhaeyo..jeongmal mianhaeyo.. !-!

 Maaf 
Maaf
Maaf

please forgive me!!!!

It was my fault
but
really
I didnt mean to hurt you!!! 
really!!!
 
saya x sengaja lukakan awak
tolong maafkan saya 

yes yes
I am such a bad person 

saya sgt kejam dan jahat
sampai lukakan awak sebegitu rupa
mesti awak rasa sakit dan derita
maafkan saya
maafkan saya
maafkan saya
!-!

kalaulah waktu boleh diputar
kalaulah
kalaulah
kalaulah..
x henti2 saya memikirkannya
sgt sgt mengharapkannya
kalaulah waktu boleh diputar...


saya tahu 
walau beribu kali maaf pun 
walau berjuta maaf sekali pun
x dapat tebus dosa saya pada awak 
tapi
maafkan saya
maaf
maaf
maaf....

saya akan dapat balasan saya nanti....
I'm gonna carry this guilt forever

 I'm such a horrible and bad person
!-!



 Maafkan saya
Yeah.. I guess I dont deserve to be happy....



 
                                                                                                                                                    13 September